June 20, 2012

So last night was our last meeting as a group before we head out on June 30th.  Basically we closed some loose ends in preparation for our actual departure.  There were a lot more people present this particular evening and though I'm not sure of the actual count, I know we were missing quite a few people.  One student from our university group was ill, so we prayed for her speedy recovery as well as other things.  I believe this is the first time we had all prayed as a big group as well.  The meeting went fine with the expected excitement in the air.  I detected an air of anxiety as well, though it may have just been coming from me.  I expressed my excitement for this trip.  To be with all these young people and student nurses is very exciting and I'm looking forward to getting to know them and learn from them and vice versa.  I know together we will have priceless experiences meeting new people from Peru and sharing the Word of God.  I'm reminded at each meeting, indirectly, not to focus on the medical portion of this clinic.  Ultimately this is a much needed service we are offering that we are using as a vessel to accomplish and strengthen church planting.  I understand this to be not in the literal sense, though there is one, but moreso church in the sense of community, the individuals that will make up this church.  We will offer medical services as well as spiritual counseling to the community and by our interactions with them through, medical, the eye clinic, bible study, I am Second, child ministry and play, we help to strengthen the community so that they may continue to grow as one.  I think that's the gist.  No you may be wondering why do I not sound so sure of myself.  I have participated in many mission trips.  All these trips were service in nature such as building, cleaning, painting, etc.  Our interactions with the people naturally led to some sort dialogue or narrative, if you will.  The topics could have been about anything really, but always led to building a strong genuine relationship in such a short time.  Prayer and faith sharing found itself in these interactions but were never the initial topic or intent.  I think it just naturally came out because of the service we had done as really getting to know these people even for a short time.  I was asked last night what excites me about this trip...just going on the trip is exciting for me as well as getting to know all the good people on the trip and getting to know them and working with them.  However, I never revealed the anxiety deep down.  I've got the medical part down pat, the faith sharing not so much.  I met Thomas Coiner last night.  A fine young man talented with a camera.  He will be joining us in documenting this trip; first ever offered for the University of Alabama nursing students.  Thomas interviewed me for the pre-trip video.  It went fairly well.  He made me feel comfortable as I've never done an interview before.  In hindsight, I couldn't tell you much of what I told him.  I may not have even answered his questions correctly.  I also know I should have said things differently to be more clear on points.  So as I thought about this on my drive home, I started to question myself.  Why am I going?  This shouldn't be much different from all the other trips I've been on.  It's a different country, but I've been to different countries before.  It's part medical, but I'm clearly comfortable with my capabilities as a nurse.  So why am I going?  Yes, its my first medical mission but I'm having a hard time not focusing on that portion as directed.  I guess I'm scared about the evangelical part, the church planting, community teaching and everything else not medical.  I feel inadequate yet know this is my chance to break out of that fear and will find I know and can do a lot more in that respect than I realize.  I will have to wait and see.  Like I said, I don't remember much from an 8 minute interview.  My mind started to scatter and trying to find the words and sentences to convey my message was a train wreck.  I get that way when I'm super excited about something or super nervous about something.  I'll be preparing a little more spiritually this week and will be posting a prayer calendar as well so that my supporters and anyone else can pray along.  I'll try and regroup my thought overnight and write some more real soon.  For now, I had to get that off my chest.  Peace.